He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
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I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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