I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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