I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
