but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
