after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
