well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
