I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The struggles of a small town man whore
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
