just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize