sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
