so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
