Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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