I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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