fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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