Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
