Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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