waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am midnight drunk by noon
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
