dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Text me some of your sweat
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
