are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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