we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize