I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
