Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
