we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
