are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
