Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
