hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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