bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm like, not good at living.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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