Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just gargled with NyQuil
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
