You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This toilet bowl is my home.
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