conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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