just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
