Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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