If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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