I think my vagina is haunted
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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