can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
