Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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