just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
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