idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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