Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
pray to the hookup gods
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