I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I currently don't understand fingers.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize