So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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