Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
