just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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