I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
