omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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