Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
