Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
