You really coming over, don't trick.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
