we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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