I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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