You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i believe in u and ur pee
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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