i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
