yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
