I'm lost and stupid without you.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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