i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
