remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
