Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant