Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wipe that smile off your face.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
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Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.