I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.