Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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