We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
