Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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