why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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