Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
