if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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