You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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