We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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